another moral hangover. fuck.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize