My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
