That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
