Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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