he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
