The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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