i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i think i have two assholes
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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