P.S. I can't hear my feet
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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