Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
even my farts smell like vagina
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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