weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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