he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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