I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
