I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
