I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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