I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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