her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I want to fling myself into the sun
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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