people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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