and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I want a musical about memes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
