i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
