look no pants
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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