We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
where am i from again
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
