I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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