HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
