Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
