if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
