Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize