I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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