These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
