well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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