Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
