Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
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Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
NoShamevember. You game?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.