So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.