Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.