I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
