we made out on top of his cat.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think my nap took me to another dimension
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
