I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
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I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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