the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
