I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
