i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you win again, gameday.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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