so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
