So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i came on her dog
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
