As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
