Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
