You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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