I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
