Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
