mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize