The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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