I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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