when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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