idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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