just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
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Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
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Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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