Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
