what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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