I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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