Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
