:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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