i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
