My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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